This week on zero stars we speak with Bobby Harlow, legendary frontman of Detroit’s The Go. Lately you’ll find him, along with Go bandmates John and Marc in Conspiracy of Owls, one of the most exciting, yet largely unheard groups around today. Adding other musicians for the live show from in and around the Detroit music scene like Human Eye, and of course, the Dee-troit Cobras, they’ve taken what they know from garage, and sprinkled it like brown sugar crumbs on a peach cobbler of smooth 70’s AM Gold!
"Macaroni and cheese. Another good place is The Wolfgang Puck Grille - try the Yukon gold potato and pecorino ravioli with Italian parsley and white truffle oil. Ask for Mark. He’ll hook it up."
Chewdout: What’s one dinner you’ve recently enjoyed? Bobby: Recently, I’ve enjoyed yet another 2am stop at Del Taco. Ever since it sprung up in Michigan I’ve been a big fan. Fish tacos are my favorite. Sometimes I do shrimp too. I must admit, though, that I don’t love waking up with remnants of shrimp and cabbage in my bed. Chewdout: I could imagine! What’s your favorite breakfast? Bobby: I used to eat meat. I liked Mexican omelets with hot sauce and sour cream. Now, I usually keep it simple and order eggs (over medium - which seem to be a tall order as they usually come runny), hash browns (the buttery, stringy style), and white toast. I confess, breakfast is not one of my strongest suits. I often just grab coffee from Dunkin Donuts, cream and sugar, and smoke cigarettes until I can’t breathe. I’ve found that it’s the finest way to begin my day/life/eternity.
Chewdout: What’s another unhealthy food that you nevertheless eat? Bobby: Everything I eat is unhealthy. I do avoid MSG. It gives me a headache and makes me feel like I took a quarter hit of acid. I hate that stuff. Ok, an unhealthy food item that I ingest… Twinkies. Chewdout: 1976, heavy-drinking John Lennon has just shown up at your house unexpectedly for dinner. What do you cook to impress? Bobby: Depends on what time he’s turned up at my door. If it’s 3am, I guess I throw some “Banquet macaroni and cheese” in the microwave (I have a microwave because I’m rich) and we both marvel at how good it is when it ought to be the worst tasting thing ever, at 99 cents an entree. If it’s 6pm, I invite him in, as he steps through the door I punch him directly in his solar plexus, knocking the wind straight outta him. This gives me time to think, as he’s rolling around, attempting to collect himself. I quickly scan all recipes that I can bring to memory, instantly. There, I remember a dish from my home economics class that contains massive amounts of sharp, cheddar cheese, cream of mushroom soup, onions, & hash brown potatoes.
I drag him, by his heels, into the kitchen. I collect all of my pots and pans, in one big bear hug and drop them on the tile floor, causing a giant, calamitous racket. He’s surprised and this distracts him from his own anger. I then begin throwing all of the ingredients onto the floor, from the fridge, take off my shirt, and sing “Mama’s Little Baby Loves Shortnin’” as I mix everything in a large, glass casserole dish. I use my feet to open the preheated oven and, with the same feet, insert the dish. I change the subject, “I think I saw Ringo, yesterday.” I lied. I just wanted him to return to a fond and familiar place. I’ve comforted him. Now, we wait 60 minutes. I maintain eye contact. I don’t want him to think that he’s in the clear. When he attempts to stand, so do I. I’ve kept the floor greased with lard, in advance, anticipating the moment where I may need to prevent somebody from escaping my kitchen. The floor is slippery. We both continue to sit and stand for another 45 minutes until the timer goes off. I reach into the oven, this time using my hands and arms. I present 2 forks and tell him to dig right in, reminding him to blow on each bite (as it’s very hot). Obviously, he’s impressed, as am I. I think this went well. John agrees. We then write 12 songs together and call it, “The Real Beatles.” I’m looking forward to this. When is this happening??? Chewdout: Its gotta!! You’ve got $10 to make a meal, but you can only prepare the meal with a knife, what do you make? Bobby: I’ve told you already, “Banquet macaroni and cheese.” We each get two. Next question. Chewdout: What would be the best food to throw at a Robocop statue? Bobby: Cats and dogs.
Tasty Dinnerz: Cooking at the Bottom of the Barrel
As you know, Mac ‘n’ Cheese can be a real life-saver for lazy, hungry males everywhere. But let’s face it, it’s BAD FOR YOU, and it TASTES BORING. So let’s kill two birds with two additional ingredients:
BROCCOLI and BACON! The broccoli is for health and the bacon’s for flavor! Just make the mac n cheese like normal…
…then add in bacon bits and broccoli pieces. Stir well to obtain the meal pictured in photo #1. If you don’t want your broc raw, or if you’re using the frozen stuff, just throw it in with the noodles a couple minutes before they’re done getting boiled. This quick-and-easy meal is sure to impress your lady on a Sunday afternoon when she thinks you’re all out of food!
This week on Zero Stars we chat with Sohrab Habibion of Obits, and DC’s legendary Edsel fame. He appreciates a good meal, one that, I’m sure, like his ringing, awesomely dissonant solo’s in Obits, will grab you by the throat and force you to pay attention. He says when you’re next in Brooklyn hit up Cafe Steinhof. “It’s a nice, neighborhood place that serves ‘Viennese comfort food.’ The tomato soup is delicious. I usually get that with a small salad and liptauer cheese on pumpernickel bread. My wife and son almost always split the Bratwurst with potatoes and a side of lentils. Steinhof also has a U-Boot drink special, which is a Gaffel Kolsch beer and a shot of Obstler brandy. It sets me up just right.”
Veeeeener Schnitzel, Cafe Steinhof
Chewdout: What’s one dinner you’ve recently enjoyed? Sohrab: On Tuesday night I made a frittata that turned out pretty well. It was a Mark Bittman recipe. My wife does most of the cooking in our house. She went to chef school and so even her most basic, off-hand, eyes-closed dishes I find impressive. I try to help by preparing ingredients so that when she gets home from work it’s slightly less taxing for her. That and a glass of wine at the ready smoothes the transition from strap-hanger to apron-wearer. Recently I’ve taken over the responsibility of cooking one dinner a week and we’ve yet to have a dud, though I’m sure there’s one around the corner. Chewdout: Very gentlemanly of you! Follow Chewdout and maybe we’ll inspire one of those meals in the future. What’s your favorite breakfast? Sohrab: Orange & passion fruit yogurt. I like the Australian style made by Wallaby. Usually I cut up a banana or apple to add to it and sometimes I’ll sprinkle in a little granola.
I also have a couple of shots of espresso and then, when it’s time to start my work, I make a stovetop cup of coffee to take to my desk. Chewdout: Wallaby is great, I am an outspoken advocate of the Key Lime flavor. But that seems to be an unhealthy amount of coffee in the morning. What’s another unhealthy food that you nevertheless eat? Sohrab: Late night pizza or felafel after we’ve played a show or walking home from band practice. Greg and I have been frequenting a 24-hour halal food cart that’s at the corner of 5th Avenue and 9th Street in Park Slope. Their hot sauce is excellent. Chewdout: Abraham Lincoln’s just shown up at your house unexpectedly for dinner. What do you cook to impress? Sohrab: Since his mother died from milk sickness, I’d be sure to steer clear of dairy products. He also had “an aversion to killing animals,” so I’d probably make the meal vegetarian. And, both because I lack the skills and he strikes me as a modest guy, I’d try to keep it simple and unpretentious. So maybe a BLT, but substituting tempeh bacon and adding avocado. However, if I wanted to sneak in a little fancy action, I’d add roasted garlic and a basil aioli. Chewdout: Ooooo, NICE! You’ve got $10 at a supermarket make a meal, but you can prepare the meal with only a knife, what do you make? Sohrab: My wife said that, assuming she had a pan and a stove, she’d make risotto with tofu and vegetables. I would opt for flour tortillas ($2) with hummus ($3), shredded kale ($2) and 1/4 lb. of Bulgarian feta ($2). That would make a few decent roll-ups and leave me a dollar for a Tecate. Chewdout: Way to get the Tecate in there! You live in New York; Chinese food can be absurdly cheap there. What’s the cheapest, awesome plate of Chinese food you’ve ever had? Sohrab: Last weekend we had a rental car because my nephew was in town and I had to get him to and from the airport. Since we almost never have a vehicle, we took advantage of it and drove to Flushing, in Queens, which has the second largest Chinatown in New York City. My wife had been hearing about a place called Hunan Kitchen of Grand Sichuan and it turned out to be great.
We had pumpkin cake (which was breaded and fried like a latke), sautéed string beans, BBQ fish (crispy tilapia with potatoes, sweet potatoes, peanuts, chili peppers, etc. topped with fresh cilantro), a chili tofu dish and my wife also ordered lamb with cumin and fresh cilantro, which she claimed was her favorite.
Chewdout: Sounds Hu good to be true! Sohrab, thanks for taking the time!
Obits’ crunchingly new, (awesomely titled) LP Moody, Standard and Poor is out now on Sub Pop. Snap into it, like fo-chun cookie!!
Breakfast rules, and potatoes can make the meal. But they can sometimes be tricky! It’s easy to screw up the flavor, they can burn, or more typically, wind up undercooked. I don’t mind saying I make breakfast potatoes very well, but it comes from years of trial and error. Learn from my flubs and follow these simple steps. Start some bacon on the next burner over and you’ll have the whole house wide awake and ready to eat in minutes!!
What you’ll need:
4 Potatoes (or about a potato a person)
1 Onion (I use white, but any kind’ll do)
Salt & Pepper
Hot sauce (Tapatio is preferred!)
Spices: Dill, Sage, Garlic Salt, Celery Seed
You’ll notice I don’t have listed oregano, thyme, rosemary.. Yeah, that’s because everyone adds those to their breakfast potatoes. I’m not impressed. You can add them if you want, but I personally think they’re overrated. Save it for pasta sauce. These potatoes are designed to be spicy and savory, the oregano will just make them taste, well, average. On the other hand, the dill and sage in this recipe will help bring out the spicy element, and the celery seed will add a nice finish to the flavor. Trust me.
So I’m sure you can figure out where to start-
Dice up the onion and potatoes (and garlic, if you’re not using the pre-chopped stuff)..
You can chop the potatoes any way you want. Actually, I probably do it a little different each time. I would recommend this way however for ease: Chop the potato in half. Then each half into strips (as above), and then the strips into chunks. The potatoes will look a little funny at first, (kinda long and skinny), but trust me no one will notice, and it really is the least amount of chopping for the best potato turnout.
Next, start a saute in a pot or pan that has a lid. Give yourself a good size pot because you’re going to be doing a lot of stirring and you don’t want the little buggers falling all over the floor! Throw some butter in the pan (about a half-tablespoon for each potato you’re gonna use) and add the onion and a tablespoon of chopped garlic (more or less to taste). Stir it around for a couple minutes until the onion gets soft. Don’t let it burn!
Next add the potatoes. Now this is where attention is required. IMPORTANT STEP #1: After the potatoes hit the pan, cook them on HIGH heat for about 10 or 15 minutes, stirring regularly. The goal of this step is to put a nice brown on all the sides of the little potato chunks. So don’t undercook them because then they’ll start to get mushy. Don’t overcook them either- they’re going to be in that pot another half hour and you don’t want them to be black when they come out, now do you? Just a nice solid fry, mixing it around often so as to consistently cook each one. Like this:
NEXT: Reduce the heat on the burner from HIGH to MEDIUM LOW.
Then add the spices. I don’t ever measure them out, but if I had to guess I’d say it’d be about like this:
2 teaspoons of salt
1 teaspoon of pepper
1 teaspoon of garlic salt
1/2 teaspoon dill
1/2 teaspoon sage
1/2 teaspoon celery salt
5-10 heavy squirts of hot sauce
Really, don’t worry about the measurements, just throw a little bit of each in the pot and stir it around!!
IMPORTANT STEP #2: Put a lid on it!
The purpose of the lid is to bake the little taters making them nice and soft. Your almost done, all that’s left is to leave the potatoes cooking on the med-low heat for another 15-30 minutes. Stir it around occasionally, the bottom ones will brown and that’s the intention. They should come out lookin’ like this:
But really you can cook them as long as you want. In fact, I usually wait until I get to this stage to make the rest of the breakfast food- start the bacon, whip up the eggs, what have you. Plus: it makes a handy excuse to blame the potatoes when people start to wonder why you aren’t making their damn omelette fast enough. Just say the potatoes need ‘just a bit longer,’ and ‘why don’t you go finish your beer, dad.’
When they’re cooked to your liking just reduce to heat to LOW, or you can even turn the burner off completely leaving the lid on to keep them warm while you finish stuff up.
Serve them with meat, eggs and french toast. Don’t forget the Mimosa with a raspberry in it to prove to your readers that your fancy. For the more health conscious substitute sweet potatoes (notice the plate on the left. That’s right, I made 2 separate batches because my lady DESERVES IT.) Enjoy!
Brian Burger, Lee Burger, and Sean Burger, from Anaheim’s Burger Records, know a thing or two about, well, burgers. They also have great taste in music as just a casual browse of their roster will confirm, and being from Southern California, know a good deal about tacos! Chewdout caught up with them recently to shoot the shit.. er, I mean Chew the Chorizo about Mexican food. Try and keep up with their releases here at burger.com, I think they’re at like 3 a day now.. Hola, Burger, ¿Cómo estás?
CHEWDOUT: All great Mexican restaurants offer, I guess what you could call a sort of low-budget comfort. What are some of the things that make a great Mexican restaurant so sweet? LEE: Bonita senoritas y salsa bar, por favor! SEAN: Lard makes a great Mexican restaurant! LEE: Montecca! BRIAN: Umm, people always eating there, when it’s crowded you know it’s good! What else…the chips… EVERYONE: CHIPS!!! BRIAN: Salsa has to be good too. SEAN: Chips make the meal for me sometimes!
CHEWDOUT: Hard Shell or Soft Shell? LEE: Both! SEAN: It’s really a “what kind of mood am I in?” type of decision for me. BRIAN: Definitely, soft shell. LEE: Why? BRIAN: Because you can put more stuff in it without it cracking! LEE: I heard that! CHEWDOUT: I totally agree! I like soft precisely for the crammability. I’m a simple guy, on my taco I like beans, cheese, tomatoes, onions, sour cream and some good hot sauce, like tapatio. What makes your perfect taco? LEE: Hmmm… pink? PPFFFSSHH!! Fucking AL PASTOR! BRIAN: Carne Asada, cheese, two cheese preferably, some veggies, some lettuce, uh, lime over it, squirt it with lime…yeah..and then, and then just add the salsas…AND EAT IT! Right? Actually, that’s more of a shrimp soft tacooooo…… SEAN: Tacos fried in lard, covered in it! That’s a perfect taco for me! CHEWDOUT: How awesome are tamales? BRIAN: How awesome? Are tamales? Well, it depends on who’s making the tamales! LEE: Si mon! They’re one of the best things about X-Mas! CHEWDOUT: Horchata or Jarritos? Or do you prefer on of those big, dusty ass bottles of Mexican Coke? LEE: PSSHH, all of the above! BRIAN: Orange Bang! SEAN: I prefer Horchata without all the chalky shit in it. I hate the chalky shit! CHEWDOUT: Soooooooo. What’s your favorite Mexican restaurant?? EVERYONE: El Farolito Jr.!!!!!!!
SEAN: Junior plate with enchiladas or Al Pastor burrito and a lemonade if we do well in the store that day! We literally go there every day. It’s the best. LEE: Yeah, depending if I’m rolling deep I’ll go with the carnitas plate or if I’m on a Burger Budget we’ll do the two Al Pastor tacos and one taco de lengua w/ EEEEVERYTHING! Hahahaha! AND COCA COLA WITH REAL CANE! BRIAN: Lately I’ve just been getting the tacos. I get three tacos. I mix it up though, sometimes I get carne asada, al pastor, pollo!
THANKS GUYS!!! Uuuuhh.. say.. donde esta la bano?? Andele! Andele! Areeeba!
Here’s a variation on the classic “B.L.T.” sandwich. This one’s a B.S.T.T.O.C.A.G.C. - a Bacon-Spinach-Tomato-Turkey-Onion-Cheese-Avocado-Grilled-Cheese. It’s fast, easy, and goes great with broccoli! Here’s what you do:
First get some bacon goin in a skillet. Cast-iron is recommended. You can add some pepper if you want to. While that’s happening…
…you can start choppin up the vegetables and cheese for later. Don’t forget the broccoli (not pictured)! Once the bacon’s done,
throw it on your favorite bread with some sliced cheese and cold-cut turkey. I used brick cheese, because that’s what we had. Drain the fat and wipe out the skillet, but don’t try all that hard. You’ll need some of that flavor in the next step:
Melt some butter in the skillet and spread it around. Drop the sandwiches in and let ‘em sit on low heat for a while. Be patient on this step if you don’t want your bread to burn. This is also a good time to get the broccoli goin in the steamer. If all the butter gets soaked up by the first side, you can add some more when you flip ‘em. Once the bread is golden-brown and the cheese is melted, it’s time to take ‘em out, open ‘em up, and
add toppings! You can also spread some mayo or olive tapenade around if you want to.
That’s it, you’re done!
Round out the meal with some oven-baked tater tots. I take mine whole with a dark beer, Jenna takes hers halved with tea.
Welcome to the first ZERO STARS, where we’ll butter and grill artists and other food eaters on what bakes their beansin the world of FOOD. This weekwe caught up with Chad from Mobile, Alabama’s battered and fried swamp-skuzz boy band WIZZARD SLEEVE! Get their LP, Make The World Go Away on Hozac, you can use the cover to pull beaners our of your collard greens.
Chad says next time your down by Mobile, swing through Daphne, AL and hit up Moe’s Original Bar-B-Que. “it’s a cool little spot just off the bay built in a old home. has tons of hippy dippy widespread memorabilia but also quite a bit of mississippi blues shit on the walls. everything i’ve ever eaten there has been pretty badass. but my favorite is the pulled pork butt sandwich (bama style) which includes white bbq sauce and cole slaw.”
Chewdout: What’s one dinner you’ve recently enjoyed? Chad: seafood boil in my back yard. gulf shrimp, crawfish, crabs, potatoes, corn on the cob, a shit ton of garlic cloves, zataran’s crab boil mix, and a cooler full of iced down beer. Chewdout: sounds good. I like beer. What’s your favorite breakfast? Chad: i pretty much love all hot breakfast foods but i guess my favorite would be biscuits and homemade tomato gravy with well done bacon. don’t give me none of the limp ass shit Chewdout: Dude, I’ll eat bacon near-raw! But yeah, well done bacon is the jam. What’s an unhealthy food that you nevertheless eat? Chad: health does not factor into my food intake Chewdout: It’s overrated. Jack Nicholson has just shown up at your house unexpectedly for dinner. What do you cook to impress? Chad: neckbones and rice with a side of sliced ripe tomatoes topped with mayo, salt and pepper, fresh turnip greens and thin buttermilk cornbread Chewdout: mmmmm You’ve got $10 to make a meal, but you can prepare the meal with only a knife, what do you make? Chad: 1 loaf of bread=$.99, a decent sized unsliced ham (cheaper and way better than cold cuts)=$4.50, and a 6 pack of Busch Light=$3.49, mayo, mustard, salt and pepper packets=FREE in deli, tax=around $1.00
Chewdout: Nice. Quick and easy! You’re from the deep, deeeep south. What’s the tastiest varmint that you’ve ever seen pulled from a swamp and cooked up? Chad: Wild Hog!! shit rules they are pretty much every where in Alabama now they reproduce rather quickly and in large numbers. hell, there’s been some killed that were over a thousand pounds!! no shit, google it!
Sounds porky! Will do!! Wizzard Sleeve’s latest salty snack, a split 7” with True Sons of Thunder is out now on Jeth-Row Records! score it here!!
Mmmmmm, something smells good.. What could it be? It’s CHEWDOUT! A food blog! We’re cookin’ in the kitchen, wish us luck, this could get messy! Write us at firstname.lastname@example.org More soon, now… ON WITH THE FOODBLOG STUPIDSTUFF!!